Philip Rivers Can Reduce Crime

Suffering through a Chargers game a few weeks ago, I thought of an innovative crime reduction strategy related to football.

What if those convicted of petty crimes (minor shoplifting, vandalism, etc.) had their sentence based on how many turnovers that Chargers QB Philip Rivers makes during a game?

If he has one turnover or less, then the offender receives just a warning.

But, if Philip has more than one fumble/interception, then the offender is mandated to up to four weekend litter clean-up details on area roads?

I firmly believe that the stress of watching a full Chargers game with QB Rivers take each snap from center, covering your eyes, and then screaming "I just know this play is going to be another turnover", would be torture enough to keep people from wanting to commit future crimes.

Plus, no one would get off with a warning--Philip consistently deliver those weekly turnovers.

Ok, yes I do have Philip Rivers on my fantasy team this year (used my third pick), and dread watching him implode each week with the horrible interceptions and fumbles.   

So, despite not being a criminal, that'll be me every game weekend, with eyes covered and muttering choice words that end in "...Rivers."